


Fade Walk

by writeforyou



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Canon, Spoilers, The Fade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:10:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2690684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeforyou/pseuds/writeforyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas has been watching the Inquisitor when she dreams, and she needs it to stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fade Walk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shepherd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shepherd/gifts).



> written for Shepherd because she fell in love with the bald egg of an elf and feels sorely about how the romance ended
> 
> **WARNING FOR SPOILERS**

 

Alassë could feel him there. He had visited her a few times in the Fade before, times that she tried to look at with fondness instead of hatred that sometimes burnt inside her when she thought of him, and she had become aware of what it felt like to have him there. That strange second presence just hovering out of view. When they were together, or as together as they could be giving the circumstances, she thought it was sweet, abet a little creepy, that he wished for her dreams to be sweet. That be chased away the demons that still plagued there.

“It gives me comfort,” Solas had told her softly, and she had allowed him that.

But she didn’t have to anymore. Because he had finished it, and then he had left, without a word to her or anyone else about where he was going. Just gone. Like he had never been, except he had because Alassë could still feel it.

It was a week after he had left, when the celebrations had just began to calm, that she had first felt it. Him. It had shocked her, jolted her to attention but she quickly stamped that down because no. She would not give him that satisfaction. She told herself that it was a onetime thing, until it wasn’t.

He kept coming back. It irked her, but she ignored it. Ignored him. He didn’t deserve her attention, not even her anger, so she kept her back to him.

But tonight, she wasn’t sure she could stand it anymore. The dogs yapped at her heels and she stumbled when she ran to escape. Her magic was useless, refused to respond to her will, sparkling but never growing as she needed it to. She felt vulnerable, defenceless. There was a sharp brush of teeth against her leg and she thought she screamed.

And then there was nothing. A stillness. Dogs gone. And Alassë was left crouched, shaking, panting and angry.

“Stop it,” she gritted out, and forced herself onto her feet. “Just stop. It.”

She got silence in return. It only made her angrier.

“You have no right,” she continued forcefully. “No right to leave like that, and then swoop in and rescue me like some gallant fucking hero.”

He didn’t appear but she heard his whispered voice.  _Not trying to be a hero. Just want to help._

Alassë laughed bitterly into the fog. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need you-“she wavered because a part of her told her that wasn’t true, and if she knew that, then Solas knew that too. She pressed her fist to her forehead and breathed, and when she spoke again, her words were careful, “It’s not fair to do this to me.”

_Don’t want to hurt you._

“Well, it’s too late for that isn’t it?” she snapped back.

“It doesn’t have to be.”

A real voice now, his voice, subdued and quiet but definitely his. It came from behind her, made her ears twitch, and she took a minute to compose herself before she turned to face him. He hadn’t changed. It had only been a few months, he wouldn’t have, but somehow she expected him to. His clothes though, golden finery that suited Solas more than the rustic look ever did. The sight of him made her heart thump and her chest hurt, she wanted to reach up and rub at her throat to see whether that would rid herself of the lump there but she didn’t. She just clenched her fists at her sides and stared him down.

“Yes, it does, or did you forget who ended it?” she reminded him.

He frowned at her. “I have not forgotten, ma vahnan.”

“No,” Alassë stopped him. “You don’t get to call me that. Not anymore.”

“That does not change the fact that it is true.”

“Why are you here Solas?” she demanded.

For a moment, he looked troubled. “I…” He trailed off, stopped for a long time and watched her. Eyes, too intense, too much of everything really, still had the power to make her weak at the knees and she despised that. But she couldn’t look away, couldn’t bring herself to. She despised that even more.

“Well?” she pushed harshly.

“I…know you have nightmares,” he finally said, although there was something about his voice that told her that was not the entire truth. Alassë refused to think too much into it because she did not care. No, she didn’t. “I wish only to give you nights of peaceful slumber. You need them.”

And a part of Alassë appreciate it, but she couldn’t let herself accept it. “What I need,” she told him firmly, “Is for you to leave me alone.”

Solas expression morphed into something pained. “Alas-“

“No,” she cut him off sharply, pulled her arms around herself and shook her head. She blinked. Tears blurred her vision. She shuddered a breath and frowned, blinked them away quickly. “No. You need…you need to do this for me, okay? If you want to help. If you ever gave a shit. If I am your vahnan. You need to let me get over you.”

Solas took a step forwards her, eyebrows furrowed. “It is selfish that I don’t want you to.”

“Yes. And I don’t think you’re cruel enough to let that happen.”

“Oh, you have no idea how cruel I can be,” Solas told her, and he was finally there, right before her, and when his hand reached up to stroke her cheek, she didn’t turn away from it. Her heart thudded in her chest, terrified for a moment that he wasn’t going to do as she asked, or that he would. She couldn’t be sure which felt worse.

He smiled sadly at her, and continued. “But I don’t think I can do that to you. You mean far too much to me.”

“Not enough for you to stay though,” she said quickly.

“No, enough for me to leave,” he corrected her.

When he kissed it, it didn’t feel like a goodbye, even though Alassë was certain that is what was happening. He kissed her like he would see her on the morrow; that when she awoke, she would roll over in her bed to find him there, and she knew that she would not. She wouldn’t even let herself entertain that prospect. So she closed her eyes and pretended this was the end. The end that she wanted, the end that she had deserved.

She heard the whispered order –  _wake up_  – a second before she did, eyes snapping open and gazing upon the decorative ceiling of her room in Orlais. A political meeting, the trial and sequential execution of Duke Gaspard that she had been invited – and then advised by Josephine – to attend. Not in the Fade. Not with Solas. Alone.

Good.

She felt his kiss on her lips for the rest of the day, a constantly tingling that set her nerves on fire and on edge. Dorian pulled her aside to ask whether she was okay, and she had smiled, pretended that the stretch didn’t make the feeling worse, patted his cheek and thanked him for the concern. She tried to act like it wasn’t there from that point onwards. She was the Inquisitor. She had duties, expectations; a way that she had to present herself and while she didn’t really care about her reputation, Solas would not be the one who caused hers to change. He had already done enough.

She no longer felt the eyes when she slept. Her nightmares came and she fought them off as best she could, but alone. For now, she was better off that way.

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [caadash](http://gladers.co.vu)
> 
> Comments are welcomed!
> 
> Also, if enjoy my writing, I'm happy open my askbox up to prompts :)


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